by ldsmaverick7 » 09 Mar 2010, 19:03
You seem to be on the right track to salvation. Maybe I can help your mind through some of these things that cause so much fear and unease inside of you. It has been said that with the same judgement that you judge others, you shall also be judged. So when you don't hold things against other people because they are just human, take comfort in knowing that God will not judge you any harsher because of the things you have or haven't done because you are human as well. God is truly merciful and forgiving, but God is also just. So the way I see it, if I do the best I can in my life, even though I can carelessly hurt other people through my actions unintentionally, God will accept the good deeds that I do, and use the Atonement of Jesus Christ to heal the wounds that I have caused. When it comes to death, I am not sure how to help you wrap your mind around that one, but like it or not, it comes to all of us. So there isn't anyway around dying. One day you will, and if there is no God, and no life after death, then all that you will leave behind is your legacy and memory. What kind of a life will you have lived? I encourage everyone to live the best lives they can so that when they die, if there is no God, then they will leave this world with a reason for people to mourn their passing instead of rejoicing in their riddance. If there is a God, and we have lived our lives the best we can, surely God will know this when we are judged, and we will not be judged on things we never knew. God knows how much you know, and how you learned it and how deeply it was learned too. So for God to damn you because you didn't learn a lesson is like a teacher flunking you because you failed a test on information you were never taught. This sometimes happens in our educational institutions, but not in the perfect realm of God. God is just, and God is merciful. Joseph Smith said that when we meet God we will be shocked at how liberal and merciful and loving He is, but we will be equally amazed at how quick and exact He is in His justice too. The Holy Ghost is the best indicator of how well we are doing. The Holy Ghost is sometimes called the Justifier. To justify something, or someone, is to declare them free of guilt or blame. So when we live the best we know how, the Holy Ghost dwells within us and we are declared innocent of any charges. Some may go so far as to say that if you die with the Holy Ghost dwelling in your heart, you know you will automatically go to the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom. Personally, my perceptions of the degrees of glory has been going through a change lately, so I won't just jump on and say that everyone needs to get to the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom. A few years ago, I would have. Now, I see the kingdoms as glorious and tailor-made to fit each specific individual. You will receive exactly what you prepare yourself for. Once Satan is bound, and you are free from the torments of his temptations, you may find it is so much easier to always do the right things, and you never have any problems anymore. Others, tempt themselves and blame Satan for their sins. Only you know what you are sincerely guilty of. And so we can't compare any of us to anyone else. Just because my bishop goes down to the local diner for a cup of coffee after church every Sunday doesn't mean that I can. And just because someone else is tormented by guilt because they said a four letter word doesn't mean that I am going straight to Hell because I can wax as eloquent as a sailor when it comes to swearing. Each of us is different, and God expects different things from each of us. All of us are guilty of sinning. To sin is to willfully transgress the laws of God. We don't accidentally sin. We commit first degree pre-meditated sin all the time, and THAT is exactly what the Atonement of Jesus Christ is for. When you take the sacrament on Sunday, and renew your baptismal covenant, all those things that you knowingly did wrong are washed away and your sins are forgiven. We can't suffer for our sins because we have sinned. Jesus had to suffer for our sins because He never sinned. The sacrifice had to be to punish a perfect being for the sake of the imperfect. That sacrifice was infinite and eternal, it doesn't increase when we do more wrong, and it doesn't diminish when we do less wrong. His sacrifice is sufficient to cover the vilest, most evil wicked person who ever lived, just as it is sufficient to cover the most saintly and righteous. You can't put yourself outside of the bounds of the Atonement. At least, you can't, if you don't want to. Don't murder someone when you've received light and knowledge from God, and don't commit the sin against the Holy Ghost. The sin against the Holy Ghost is still a bit of a mystery to me, but from what I have learned about it, it isn't a sin that you stumble upon like forgetting to pay your tithing this month. You will know when you have the light and knowledge to commit it, and until then, you will probably look at it is a sin that scares you to death anyway, so I'm not worried about too many people committing that sin. Imagine Elder Eyring leaving the church and denouncing God and religion altogether. That's about what it would be like. And yet, that still isn't it. I'm just trying to explain the implications of such a sin in a way that you could comprehend, and it is imperfect, because I myself don't fully comprehend it, so I digress.
I hope something I have said gives you some guidance and comfort. I come on here from time to time to help others who are struggling with questions they may have. I'm glad we have a site like this where we can anonymously question and wonder about the Church without being condemned by the mainstream Mormons at church. I have found that most people are here, not because they want to leave the church, but because they want to understand it deeper than just Sunday School answers that aren't even deep enough to drown a newborn baby. And thanks to everyone on this site for being friendly towards each other, I think that helps more than anything else.
I look forward to learning from your comments.